


Baekhyun Kisses EXO

by dan_and_bands



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Fluff, I'm so sorry, M/M, enjoy your trash, excuse me would you like some fic with that trash, this is trash tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11030004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dan_and_bands/pseuds/dan_and_bands
Summary: Based on the promt:"Baekhyun likes to consider himself a connoisseur. His current endeavor is to judge the kisses of EXO.Main pairing: Baekhyun/JongdaeSide paring: Kyungsoo/Jongin





	Baekhyun Kisses EXO

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zyxii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zyxii/gifts).



> I filled a promt. Yay me. My friend wrote this promt too but she's lame and hasn't made an account yet sO YOU CANT READ IT YET RIP

Baekhyun had a dream.

This wasn't unusual, as Baekhyun dreams a lot, but this dream was different. Better, you could say.

He dreamed of Jongdae. Of being with him, of holding is cheek while they softly kiss. Of cuddling with him when they both fall back onto the bed, exhausted and sweaty. Of getting married, and having the best honeymoon they could ever imagine. Of growing old with him, and crying when Jongdae died before him.

But of course, it was just a dream. Jongdae would never like Baekhyun back, and that's the way it was. So when Baekhyun had this little dream of his, it scared him. More than he'd like to admit. So that's why Baekhyun set out on a mission. His goal was to kiss all of the EXO members, on the lips, and grade their kisses. He was hoping to get over Jongdae by doing so, if he found a pair of lips that were even more captivating than Jongdae's, that is. Highly unlikely but still worth a shot.

Baekhyun left his shared bedroom with Jongin and Sehun and went into the kitchen, clipboard in hand. His first victim would be their maknae, Sehun the Little Shit. And there Sehun was, on his phone sitting at the table scrolling through Instagram, laughing at memes. Baekhyun shook his head.

"Sehun!" Baekhyun called out. Sehun's head shot up.

"What hyung?"

"I need to kiss you," Baekhyun said without hesitation. Sehun choked on his water.

"Excuse me?"

"I need to kiss you. I'm grading all of you peoples kisses. Now get up and let me love you," Baekhyun said.

"Okay..." Sehun slowly stood up. This was a lot easier than Baekhyun though it was going to be. Sehun walked over to him hesitantly, not sure if his Baekhyun hyung was being serious.

'But he has a clipboard, so he must be,' Sehun though. Baekhyun rolled his eyes at Sehun. Sehun realized he'd said that out loud.

"I am being serious now listen you your hyung," Baekhyun whined. Sehun didn't budge so Baekhyun walked up to him, put his arms on Sehun's shoulders and kissed him. It didn't last very long, as after a few seconds, Sehun regained his senses and pushed Baekhyun off of him.

"You can't just kiss someone like that!" Sehun nearly yelled.

"I can, and I did," Baekhyun smirked an walked out of the kitchen.

Baekhyun went to his room to mark down Sehun's grade, as he realized carrying that around with him wasn't the best idea. He decided to give Sehun a B+. The maknae clearly had experience. He added in, "Needs to be longer. Kiss was nice, smooth."

Baekhyun's next victim would be Jongin. He figured Jongin would be easy, probably wouldn't even have to explain anything. Nice and simple.

Boy, was Baekhyun wrong.

Baekhyun had found Jongin in the living room presumably making out with Kyungsoo. Baekhyun shrieked, then immediately regretted it because both boys turned to look at him. Kyungsoo looked as if he were hungry, and Baekhyun would be his prey. Baekhyun did not like that.

"Oh, don't mind me," Baekhyun started, "just casually gonna kiss you both," he finished and ran up to the couch, grabbing Jongin by his shirt and kissing him, then doing the same to Kyungsoo. Before either could react, he ran to his room, grabbed the clipboard and ran out of the dorm. He wouldn't be going back there for a while. Luckily, Joonmyeon was out, so he could find him.

Baekhyun walked to a little coffee shop and sat down in the corner so nobody could see what he was doing. He wrote;

Jongin = C  
Could use some improvement, maybe get tips from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo = A-  
Very good kisser, can see why Jongin was making out with him.

Baekhyun stayed there for a little more before leaving to go find Joonmyeon. After he left, he realized he can't kiss him out in the open so he'd have to improvise.

Baekhyun: Hyuuuuung, come meet me at the park, I want to show you something

After a few minutes with no reply, Baekhyun got a bit impatient. He started messing around.

Baekhyun had changed his/her nickname to Bakehyung

Bakehyung had changed Joonmyeon's nickname to Joonhoe

Bakehyung has changed the chat name to Son of the Hoe

Joonhoe: What is happening

Bakehyung: Meet me at the park!!!1!1

Joonhoe: Okay, I'm on my way

Baekhyun grinned and ran to the park. He probably should've already been there but he got distracted. Luckily, Baekhyun had only been there for about a minute before he saw Joonmyeon walking up to him. The park was deserted, and literally nobody was around, so Baekhyun deemed it safe. When Joonmyeon got close enough Baekhyun sprung up and kissed him. To his surprise, Joonmyeon kissed him back. After about thirty seconds, when Baekhyun needed air, he pulled away.

"Damn hyung, you're a good kisser," Baekhyun breathed heavily.

"Thanks. You are too, son of the hoe,"

After a second of awkward silence, Baekhyun had to clear things up.

"You do know why I kissed you, right?"

"Of course I do, I saw the clipboard," Joonmyeon winked and walked away.

Baekhyun wrote down;

Joonmyeon = A  
Amazing kisser, more on the dominate side. Possible candidate.

Baekhyun left the park, smiling all the way back to the dorms. As soon as he walked in, however, his smile dropped. Kyungsoo was right in front of him, and he didn't look happy. Baekhyun sheepishly held up the clipboard to show him. Kyungsoo just squinted his eyes and left, not stopping staring at Baekhyun until there was a wall between them.

Baekhyun left to go find Chanyeol. He figured Chanyeol would be a good kisser, the number of times Baekhyun's seen him drunk and up against someone is too many to count.

Chanyeol was lying in his bed on his computer, watching some drama.

"Chanyeolie, can I kiss you?"

"Yeah, sure, go ahead," Chanyeol replied without looking up. Baekhyun smirked and walked up to his Chanyeol's, pulling him up and kissing him nice and hard. When Baekhyun let go, Chanyeol was surprised.

"Why'd you kiss me?"

"You said I could," Baekhyun shrugged innocently and left Chanyeol's room.

Baekhyun never put the clipboard back in his room so he just wrote in down in the hallway.

Chanyeol = A-  
Probably a bit rusty since he hasn't been drunk in a while.

While Baekhyun was writing, Minseok spotted him.

"Hey, what're you doing?"

Baekhyun, who was not expecting an unexpected presence, jumped. He definitely did not let out a girly squeal. After calming down, he showed Minseok his clipboard.

"Oh okay. Need me too?"

Baekhyun nodded. Minseok walked up to Baekhyun and kissed him, then walked away. Baekhyun was slightly confused. He wrote it down nonetheless.

Minseok = B  
Good kisser, not amazing but not bad.

Baekhyun walked around the dorm trying to find Yifan. Eventually, he was found in the bathroom cleaning with Joonmyeon. Baekhyun laughed. The parents cleaning.

"Yifan hyung, I need to kiss you," Yifan looked up, surprised.

"Do it, hyung, he asked me too,"

"Actually I didn't ask Joonmyeon hyung. I just did it," Baekhyun corrected.

"Oh...kay?" Yifan said and stood up.

"Thanks dad," Baekhyun said then kissed him. After ten seconds Baekhyun pulled away. He raised an eyebrow, then turned and left a flustering Yifan to finish cleaning the bathroom.

Yifan = D  
Not very good, probably hasn't kissed much in his life.

On his way to his room, Baekhyun ran into Lu Han. 

"Lu Han hyung! I need to kiss you," Baekhyun said.

"I'm sorry Baekhyunnie, I don't like you that way..." Lu Han said. Baekhyun laughed.

"Oh boy, no, I don't like you either. Here," Baekhyun said and held up his clipboard. Lu Han made a noise in the back of his throat.

"You've just been kissing everyone?" Baekhyun nodded. Lu Han sighed and leaned forward, giving Baekhyun a peck. Baekhyun sighed because he figured that's all he'd get out of his hyung.

"Thank you, hyung," Baekhyun said and went to his room. He sat on his bed and wrote;

Lu Han = C  
Definitely not long enough

He looked over to Sehun's bed and he saw Zitao sitting there with Sehun. Baekhyun smiled.

"Zitao hyung, come over here for a second," Baekhyun called out. Zitao looked up at Baekhyun and walked over to him. Baekhyun looked at him and pulled him down into a kiss. Zitao nearly screamed, pushing Baekhyun off almost immediately.

"What do you think you're doing!?"

Baekhyun almost died laughing.

"I'm-" "grading how-" "good you can kiss" Baekhyun said in between laughs. Zitao visibly relaxed.

"Okay, good. Because I'm bad at letting people down easily," Zitao said and went back to sit with Sehun.

Baekhyun wrote Zitao's down on his clipboard.

Zitao = C  
Still young and pure, not very good at kissing

Baekhyun left his bedroom and looked for Yixing. After looking in almost every room in their dorm, he finally found Yixing in the pantry.

"Yixing hyung! Can I ask you a favor?" Yixing turned around to look at Baekhyun. "Can I kiss you? I'm grading everyone's kisses," Baekhyun asked.

"Uhh, I guess so, Baekhyunnie," Yixing said. Baekhyun smiled and leaned up to kiss Yixing. It was soft and really nice, not too short, not too long. It was, by definition, the perfect kiss. But it wasn't Baekhyun's perfect kiss because it was with the wrong person. Baekhyun pulled away first.

"Thank you! You're a great kisser," Baekhyun said, then went to the table to write it down.

Yixing = A  
One of the best kisses I've ever had.

"I think that's everyone..." Baekhyun muttered to himself.

"You haven't kissed me yet," Baekhyun heard a voice say. He immediately stiffened and turned around.

"Would you like me to?" He asked gently. Jongdae nodded shyly and blushed. 

Baekhyun felt butterflies in his stomach when he walked up to Jongdae, and his hands were sweaty. When he finally reached him (which felt like forever) his heart was racing. Baekhyun slowly leaned forward, tilting his head, being more cautious than before. Jongdae leaned in as well, and soon their lips met in the middle. Baekhyun was in overdrive. Here he was, kissing Kim freaking Jongdae, the man he dreamed about the night before, and Kim freaking Jongdae was kissing him back. When they pulled apart for air, Baekhyun was in a daze. Jongdae, for the record, is an amazing kisser.

"Hmm.. A," Jongdae said, after a few seconds of just staring into Baekhyun's eyes, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again.

"Well, I'm not quite sure I have a grade for you yet. I might need to collect some more data," Baekhyun said, and without waiting for a response, leaned in and kissed Jongdae again.


End file.
